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homor
Self-published independent author, writer and avid enjoyer of stupid, popcorn entertainment. Always happy to help!
"We all have a thousand bad drawings in us, the sooner you get them out the better." - Chuck Jones.

29, Male

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The Shadow Realm

Joined on 11/11/05

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homor's News

Posted by homor - August 9th, 2009


is this music Scottish or Irish?

WHO CARES?! its all the same.

and awesome.

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Posted by homor - August 4th, 2009


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Posted by homor - August 4th, 2009


um...CLOWN WITH A MACHEINE GUN!

ummm...Clown?


Posted by homor - July 28th, 2009


HEY KOOL AI- what?

The Kool-aid man destroys the meaning of existence.


Posted by homor - July 23rd, 2009


Asain, flexable, wearing almost nothing, cat ears, getting wet, being whacked by big poles.

this woman is like the human version of fetish fuel.

also, panty shots!

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Posted by homor - July 22nd, 2009


tonight's episode isn't so much about the stupid videos idiots make and put on the internet, but the stupid videos SOULLESS CORPORATIONS make and put on the internet.

okay, that isn't fair. stupid people make these video's too.

when people think of animation they think of classics like Looney Tunes, Tom. and Jerry, stuff that shows the height of traditional animation

but today i want to show you the worst of it, the stuff so terrible it makes Alan Moore shed a single tear. the stuff so bad only the world's biggest, most horrible crapsack would ever give it a home.

and that horrid place you ask? the internet.

first off, lets start off with a little piece once posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard on HIS blog. this is an animation reel of a now defunct animation studio called "Wolf Tracer Studios".

fair warning, this stuff WAS shown on Tv in the 90's.

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the originality of DINOSAUR ISLAND has not been seen since Jurassic Park. and the opening song of "believe in Santa" will haunt my horrible horrible night terrors for the rest of my life. seriously, its like hear chipmunk banshees being tortured.

and this animation wouldn't even pass as a PS1 cinematic. look i know 3d animation was a fairly new thing at the time, but considering we had stuff out like "Toy Story" when this crap was made its just insulting.

whats really sad is that Dinosaur Island managed to drag Mark Hamill in as voice work. i think this youtube comment sums it up perfectly:

"Mark Hamill must have done the voice work in Dinosaur Island as a favor. Or as penance. Or as ransom for%uFEFF his family." -dwarfsid

lets move on before i break down and start crying.

too late, our next entry accomplished just that:

what do you get when you take some toys that were never very popular and give them a one and a half hour advertisement? Freaky Flickers.

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this came out in 2006 by the way. like seriously, look at this JAK 2 cinematic:

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thats right, a video game cutscene (you know, those thing people usually skip and are annoyed by?) is not only better animated than this movie, but better written, and more exciting than it too. and it was made 2 years prior, so theres no excuse here. none.

lets move on.

hey, do your kids like Pixar movies but you can't afford them? are they also stupid?

the solution is here!

behold, the riveting excitement of, THE LITTLE CARS!

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do not look into their soulless eyes. they will haunt you.
this got 2 sequels.

also, THE LITTLE PANDA FIGHTER!

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hubbub-WHAT? a PANDA? who wishes to be a DANCER? ohohoohoho! that is truly out there! why, it is ever, dare i say? WACKY! ohohohohohoho! ...*spit*

these imagination impaired assholes even had the balls to rip off Wall-e.
http://www.youtube.com/wath?v=k06cpG0r 9eo&feature=related

bastards.

but of course, the most well known rip-off is the infamous RATAOING.

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good god, where is the shame? where is the dignity? i guess its just easier to take credit for work that isn't your own. don't have a cow man. EEEEEYYYYYY.

i'm officially traumatized. i need something that doesn't suck to calm me down.

...

let's watch some Batman: the Brave and the Bold.

Deep Cover for Batman:

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ahhh, i feel much better now.

okay i'm done. i hate you all. i hope you suffered as much i did during this.


Posted by homor - July 20th, 2009


---Most Erotic Story Ever---

Once upon a time, when the general rules of human physiology and logic were too drunk to do their jobs, a girl named Mandy woke up in her bed. Mandy was a beautiful girl who had beautiful hair and beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile that was very beautiful. She was also very small for her age, which people thought was cute even though her small size was probably caused by some horrific, incurable disease. She was also a girl, which meant she had BIG HONKING BOOBS and a VAGINA!!!!1 Every day when she woke up she would put on a top hat and dance and dance and dance, because she was named Mandy and that's what Mandies do. Today was different, though because she realized that sometime during the night before, SHE'D WET THE BED!

"OH NO! I HAVE WET THE BED!" Screamed Mandy. Suddenly, the door exploded and Mandy's mommy walked in with a rocket launcher.

"AH HA! My parental radar was correct! You've been a bad, naughty, SEXY little girl, Mandy! Now, bend over so I can SPANK YOU!" She said. She then took Mandy by the wrist and spanked her hard on the ass.

"If you decide to act like a baby, you'll BE A BABY! You're going to wear DIAPERS little Ms. PeePee McPeePee!"

"OH NO!" Mandy exclaimed. She cried because diapers were embarrassing and bad for the environment. Mandy's Mommy then put her into her diapers and rubbed babypowder into her VAGINA, a process described in plodding, unreasonably precise detail.

"Now that you are wearing diapers, it's time for your BA BA!" Mandy's mommy then took a bottle and aimed the nipple for her daughter's mouth, but somehow missed and shoved it up her ass.

"Why are you doing this?" Mandy cried, tears welling in her eyes. "Because I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!" Screamed Mandy's Mommy maniacally. A knock then echoed from the door, and LO! There was Cindy, one of Mandy's classmates who was also a girl with BIG HONKING BOOBS (Vagina status unknown)!!!1

"Oh, what a surprise! It is Cindy! Mandy's babysitter!" Mandy then gasped, because this was a shocking plot development. "But how could you have hired a baby sitter if you'd only started babying me just this morning?" Mandy queried.

"Oh, that's simple! I just AAAAAAAAAAUGH!" That was the last thing Mandy's Mommy said, because she was thereafter carried out through the window by millions of baby Pterodactyls.

"Hello Mandy, I'm your babysitter!" Cindy said. "Hi, I'm Mandy." There was an awkward silence, and then a loud "BOOM" as Mandy's diaper exploded with shit.

"Looks like someone needs a diaper change!" Cindy, giggled. Mandy giggled too, and then they both had sex. While they were there on the Kitchen table, naked, nude, and otherwise unclothed, Mandy said "You know what? I think I like diapers and being a baby. From now on, I think I'll wear them forever and ever and ev- WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

And then the world exploded. The End.

---I have a story, about my boobs.---

Hey guys, I am 14 years old, and I have boobs. One day I was asleep in my bed, than I wolk up to a very surprising treat, I had boobs. I felt very astonished. Why would the good lawrd jebus give poor old Zurela boobs? My first instinct was to call my boyfriend and tell him, so I did. I knew we would abuse my love for my "Chesticles" but I didn't mind. So later on in the day he came over, and he was astonished too. My mother had not yet noticed, but my father had to check for breast cancer, thankfully he did, he checked for 7 and a half hours and found nothing, he said he needs to check everyday because my mom had it once and he didn't want to loose me like he lost my mom, cause she died. Anyways so my Boyfriend came over and he checked too, apparently Breast cancer is a very serious disease, but I didn't tell him about dada because I know he just wanted to be sure because he loved me. So after about a hour or two of that we played WoW and we lvled up, he told me I gave him an "erevecton" you know, that thing when it forces you outta the house, but I just ignored the comment because I am not his landlord, I just think he was being silly. He went home, and dad told me the power of boobs, and he told be if I have to be under heavy surveillance in the shower because if I don't scrub my "boobs' enough a demon will come out and kill us all. This is how mom died, so he says. So I washed this thoroughly and he made sure they are clean Enough. I really love how my boobs made everyone care about me more, and ladies I had no idea the upkeep of these things, so if there is any more tips I need, please tell me!

Thanks for Reading.

---My autistic girlfriend---
Sup /b/

so there's this rather tasty girl at my college, sadly she has autism, she's not really high on the spectrum, she's just a bit odd and slow maybe.

but yeh she really likes me because I quite often help her with course work.

so anyway we had a rather late valentines day do last week (hall was closed so we had to find and book a venue) and she turned up looking really smart, but you could easily see her curves, she looked absolutely stunning.

well she came and spoke to me and i got her a few drinks, she was really funny actually, by the time I'd had a few i couldn't even remember or notice she had autism.

well it got to like 1am and we left, rather drunk, and she asked to stay at mine, I thought It wouldn't do any harm I wouldn't do anything.so we got a taxi to mine.

we got in, took our jackets and shoes off, and collapsed on the couch, we were lying right next to each other, she spun round and rested her hand on my chest, and started stroking it.

I didn't know what to do! 5 seconds later I decided to go for it.

I ran my hands down her side, across her stomach and down her panties. It was wet and felt amazing. she was so tight I even had to start with my pinky.

I slowly stroked her clit then pushed my finger deep inside (inside) What kind of Pokemon are you? Are you loyal through and through? Do you have a heart that's true? What kind of Pokemon are you?

Take your NORMAL type like Jigglypuff Against the GHOSTLY Gengar the battle's real tough Thunderbolt's a great ELECTRIC attack 'Til you get GROUND down by a Marowak.

---Hi /b/......I'm new here. >_>;;---

Hi /b/.......Im new here. >_>;;

I was wondering if any of u knew how 2 register here........I dont see any place where i can log in. Also, why when u post, your post disappears from the list of posts? Why cant it just go directly to your post. Well anyway i wanted to show u guys some funny pics.....

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa\My Documents\My Pictures\sleepy_cat.jpg[/img]

[img]C:\Documents and Settings\Lisa\My Documents\My Pictures\woops1.gif[/img]

i hope u guys enjoy them....also, please welcome me to /b/, i hope you are all friendly and treat me well. :D

First let me introduce myself......my fav animes are Naruto InuYasha and Bleach, and i like listening to music (my favorite bands are Fallout Boy and Pink floyd, my favorite song is We Dont Need No Education by Pink Floyd). also, the power level is OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!! XD madnes??? THIS IS

[color=red]SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]

also, how cum (lol cum) you have to attach a pic? how ghey is that? :p here's a funny pic i found the other day when i was surfing the internet. :cool:

---Epic Vandal Rant---

HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING EDS JUST KISS MY ASS, YOU BLAMED THE WRONG GUY FOR HACKING ANYWAYS YOU DUMBASSES, ITS A SHAME THAT YOU ARE BEHIND THAT FUCKING COMPUTER SCREENS IN YOUR MOM'S BASEMENT WRITING THIS SHIT BECAUSE YOU MOST NOT OF BEEN LOVED ENOUGH OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN PICKED ON IN SCHOOL OR SOMETHING, ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS YOU ARE NOTHING BUT DUMB FUCK TARD BITCHES, ALSO IT IS VERY SLICK OF USING FAKE EMAIL CREATION SITES, HOW ABOUT YOU USE YOUR OWN EMAIL WITH YOUR REAL FUCKING NAMES IN IT, YES I SAID IT. YOU ALL ARE NOTHING BUT FUCKING PUSSIES, IP BAN, DOESN'T WORK YOU FUCK TARDS BECAUSE I ALWAYS WIN MOTHER FUCKERS, I GIVES NO FUCK. WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST END IT AND MAYBE SHUT THIS SITE DOWN BEFORE I DO, LIKE I SAID FUCKING TEST ME, REALLY! I WILL LIKE TO SMASH THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SITE AND ALSO WATCH THE SHIT GO UP IN FUCKING FLAMES, HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING SUCK A FUCKING COW'S ASS BECAUSE YOUR NOTHING BUT SHIT SO EAT WHAT YOU ARE, SHIT! I'M NOT FUCKING PLAYING ANYMORE. FUCK WITH DA AND YOU JUST FUCKED YOURSELF IN THE ASS WITH BUTTHURT, WAI WAI DESU MOTHERFUCKERS, LIKE I SAID I'LL PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAMES BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO FUCKING DO BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKING TARTLET YOUR SELF, BE A FUCKING MAN/WOMAN/ALIEN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE AND LEAVE EVERYONE THE FUCK ALONE ON DA. I NEVER LOOSE AT FUCKING GAMES. GO AHEAD AND BAN THIS ACCOUNT. WHO SAID IT WAS JUST ONE PERSON DOING THIS EITHER. MAYBE YOU HAVE BECOME TO SMART TO REALIZE YOUR DUMB AS MOOSE SHIT IN WHICH HAS NO FUCKING BRAINS. I LIKE PLAYING YOU SICK GAME BUT SADLY SOON I WILL HAVE TO PUT IT TO A FUCKING END ^W^ KISS KISS WAI WAI DESU


Posted by homor - July 9th, 2009


my immortal has 2 big problems:

1- the longer it goes on, the worse it gets.

2- it goes on for a very long time.

while these first few chapters i'm reviewing are bad, it gets REALLY bad arouund chapter 13, when the author and her friend "bloodytears666" get into a fight (something about a sweater and some kind of poster of that sissy Gerad Way) and she no longer helps her with her spelling. they make up but by chapter 16 our Author decides she no longer needs help and wants to finish the story herself.

even without the awful spelling this story s still really bad.

of course i'm not going to review those chapters, really, I've only been building up this one. maybe i'll do the rest later but THIS is the one I've been waiting to do.

THE SEX ONE!

so, we've already confirmed that our Author cannot write charecter interaction or devolpment, cannot write build tension past over using elipsies, annd cnnot write plot devolpment. so lets see if see can write something that can spark a boner in a 15 year old boy!

as always, we start with the Author's notes:

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

...I've got nothing. i think this pretty much just speaks for itself.

lets move on to the rest of the story now, before i lose my fucking mind.

last we left off, Draco and Mary Sue were going home from a concert and they were off to the FORBIDDEN Forest.
"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"
"didn't you read the sign? it says the FORBIDDEN Forest! they even put FORBIDDEN in capital letters!"

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.
i still have issues with the flying car, i mean, was that even IN Harry Potter? that sounds more like something you would find in Back to the Future.

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts)
wow, between these lame contacts, the black nailpolish, and the...*giggle* eyeliner...*giggle* i am completely convinced that Draco is totally lame.

which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.
and now we notice one of MANY major problems with this story:

maudlin.

characters are often said to be "deppressed" and "sorrowful" with NO PROPER REASONING.

this is even more stupid when you realise that they live in a world of magic, Vampires, and flying cars.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE TO BE DEPPRESSED ABOUT? why, after nothing of any real deppressing value happens, you all of the sudden with no proper warning become moody and "deep" ITS FUCKING STUPID.

oh, everything is pain? you sometimes feel depressed for no reason? ITS CALLED LIFE YOU LOSERS, GET OVER IT, WAIT IT OUT, AND THAN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT. and your life doesn't even suck, you people have a GREAT life. WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING COMPLAINING ABOUT?

And then...............
you know what? if you can't use elipsies properly, DON'T FUCKING USE THEM AT ALL.

adding a bunch of dots in certain places doesn't add to the tension, it just makes everything STUPID.

suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately.
wow, good thing you just SAID it was passionate, god forbid you actually WRITE passion.

Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.
OH HELL YEAH! HERE COMES THE SEX!

quick, Rick James, GET UP ON IT!

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AWW YEEEAAAAAAHHHH

LETS GET READY TO GET. IT. ON.

He took of my top and I took of his clothes.
not a lot of detail there, BUT WHO CARES, SEX IS SEX. AWWWW YEEEEAAAHHH BOOOOYYY.

I even took of my bra.
well thats a bit stingy, he takes off all his clothes and you haven't even taken your bra off yet.

BUT WHATEVER! SEX! WOOOOHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!

Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.
--okay, wait just a minute. turn off the fucking music.

"put his thinge in my you-know-what"?

what. the. FUCK?

did the Waterboy write this hunk of shit? "put his thinge in my you-know-what"?

if you're so meak that you can't use the proper names for sex organs. DON'T FUCKING WRITE A SEX SCENE, DUMBASS.

i'd get more sexual stimulation from a Tim and Eric sketch then i would from this writing.

not to mention the explict lack of detail makes me SURE that this Author never had sex, so she has no idea what its like, therfore, i can achive no arousal from it because its not really sex.

IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN YOU CAN'T WRITE A SEX SCENE. just say something like "the lights went out, and they embraced" or something, that way its left up to my imagination. that way it CAN arouse me.

good job "My Immortal" you've RUINED SEX. i didn't even know that was possible, YOU'VE RUINED SEX.

someone put on some more fitting music.

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there, now we're setting the REAL mood.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then....

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

wow, looks like i have someone in this story i can relate to in this story. who could it be?

It was...................................
..........................Dumbledore!

Dumbledore?

Dumbledore is laying down the line?

...

FUCK YEAH! DUMBLEDORE IS LAYING DOWN THE FUCKING LINE.

bitches were all like "aw yeaaahhhh we havin' sex aw yeaaahhhhh!"

and Dumbledore came in and was all like "BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU DOIN'? DO I NEED TO BE PUTTIN' A HURTIN' ON 'YO BITCH ASSES?"

and than he bitched slapped 'em both!

a lot of fans were up in arms about Dumbledore swearing, the Author's response?

"Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!"

wow, Dumbledore has a headache too? he really IS the most relatable character in this fanfiction!

seriously, in this entire stupid, moronic, poorly written story the only awesome character is Dubledore, and MAN IS HE AWESOME! and his awesomeness is unintentional, which only makes him more awesome because he's detached from this awful writing.

in fact, after reading this fanfic, i'm convinced Dumbledore is the BEST Harry Potter character, even if he is gay.

when Snape tried to kill Dumbledore he should of been all like "BITCH, THE FUCK YOU DOIN'?" and slapped the wand out of Snape's hand.

oh, and than he should have proceeded to smack him around a bit and throw him out a window.

now THAT would have been worth reading.

and so not that we've finished Chapter 4, i feel its time to review other fanfics, and do other things with my blog.

i just wanted to review the chapter that had this story's dehorning moment of suck (the poorly written sex scene) and its crowning moment of awesome (DUMBLEDORE) at the same time.

with that i leave you with this:

http://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapt ers122.htm

the Official home of My Immortal. because nowhere else would give it a home.

read the story for yourself, see JUST how bad it is.


Posted by homor - July 8th, 2009


okay, lets just skip the introduction and get on with it. i wanna get through this stupid stupid story as quick as i possibly can.

with that said, Chapter 3 of "My Immortal"

as with every story, it starts with a little Author's note:

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!
i've got a better idea.

how about YOU stop writing crap and I will stop flaming it, okay?

odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws!
by goffik do you prehaps mean stupid?

okay, now we move on to the actual story.

where we last left off, a bunch of stupid and unimportant shit happened and then Draco invited Mary Sue- err, "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Rocksanna Bobanna Maranada phi-phy-pho-phanana Raven Way" to a Good Chralotte concert. ...don't ask WHY Draco would invite her or why Good Chralotte is playing in some kind of Magicial Harry Potter place. this is the least of the plotholes we'll be getting.

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels.
if you've read the previous pieces i've written for this story you'll know "Ebony And Ivory Raven Way" likes to go on a little about her appearance.

Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.
did i say a little? BECAUSE I MEANT TO SAY A LOT!

I felt a little depressed then,
why...?

so I slit one of my wrists.
oh yeah no, that wasn't unnessacary at all was it?

"oh gee, i'm a little bummed out now, GOODBYE CRUEL UNFORGIVING WORLD AND ALL WHO INHABBIT IT!"

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding
yeah whenever i self-harm i like to read the work of Ayn Rand too.

and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner.
"than i went to Hot Topic and Watched my Invader Zim DVD...i'm cool now right? PLEASE TELL ME I'M COOL ):>!!!!"

Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.
well tha- WAIT WHAT?!

I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.
what the hell? you don't just mention that in casual converstation.

"hey Steve, how was your weekend?"

"pretty uneventful, i got the car fixed, took my kids to the icecapades, oh and i also sacrificed a goat to Loki god of Chaos and Hatred, and than i took the Wife and kids to Wendy's."

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.
so now Harry Potter is in the future?

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt, baggy black skater pants, black nail polish
wow, thats really lame. whats next, is he gonna wear eyeliner?

and a little eyeliner
...eyeliner?

(PHHFF)

he..hehe..he's wearing eyeliner?

*giggle*

phfff- HAHAHAHAHAHA!

LOOK! LOOK! SHE'S EVER TRYING TO JUSTIFY IT:

(AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAH
HAHAHA!
haha,
oh god is that funny.

hold on, i need to a minute to calm down.

EDIT:

i was laughing so hard i needed an entire day to calm down. PHHHFFF- and i'm still not all the way there yet.

okay, now that we're done with that bit of hilarity.

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.
oh for the love of Bragi.

WHAT ARE YOU SO FUCKING DEPRESSED ABOUT? YOU'RE A MAGIC VAMPIRE IN A WORLD OF FLYING CARS. GET OVER IT.

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)
that sounds like song lyrics

"The license plate said 666
better get back we're about to kick it"

something like that.

although i wouldn't doubt that she got it off some MCR lyrics.

and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.
"oh, and then we did SKATE BOARD TRICKS and talked about THE ECONOMY...w'ere cool now, right? please tell us we're cool! please!"

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.
"oh and an Old Lady got trampled to death, BUT WE DIDN'T CARE! WE WE'RE MOSHING!"

kids, Moshing isn't cool, if you think one of your friends is going to a mos, just remember:

MOSHING KILLS!

the more you know!

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood
They're all so happy you've arrived
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

wow, the only bit of good writing in this story wasn't even written by the author. how sad.

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

oh yeah, Draco, the selfish asshole Bully who runs around with two mooks and manipulates people pyschologicly is now a cute misunderstood boy who just wants to liked, and all of the sudden A GOTH. good fuck.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.
"see? i hate Hilliary Duff, AM I COOL YET? PLEASE SAY I AM!"

Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz,
would have gone a lot quicker if you WALKED. YOU STUPID ASSHOLES.

but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into...........................
oh for the love of god-

THAT IS NOT HOW YOU USE ELLIPSIS YOU IDIOT.

the Forbidden Forest!
you can't go into the forbidden Forest! its forbidden! i forbid you!

well, on the bright side for this chapter, atleast something happened in it.

something UTTERLY IDIOTIC AND STUPID, but still something.

join us next time won't you, because next time there'll be SEX!


Posted by homor - July 7th, 2009


i know its only been about an hour, but i just can't get over how bad this story is.

so much so that it deserves a second have-at-it.

so with that lets dig into "My Immortal: Chapter 2"

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta!
get it, she says "fangs" instead of "thanks" because shes a goth, and appearantly goths find that kind of crap funny.

this story is awful enough to make someone give up on the goth subculture. seriously.

oh, and a "Z" at the end of it instead of an "S", because POR LETERACY IZ KEWL. and if you don't like that theology, don't worry, its only the altar of which this story is based around.

BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
oh why, i'm a Prep because i don't like your story.

for not liking your story i'm rich and popular at school.

fucking idiot.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again.
which is impossible. unless you count sleet. but i don't,

I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.
sometimes you just don't have any milk and you gotta put something on your cheerios.

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.
in the last chapter Dark'ness wouldn't shut the fuck up about what she looked like, now she won't shut the fuck up about what the thing meant to hold her decaying corpse looks like. good god you're vain.

I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.
I DON'T NEED TO HEAR WHAT YOU'RE WEARING EVERY TEN SECONDS. GOOD FUCKING ZUES.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)
oh my dear god are you FUCKING KIDDING!?

WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR 2 SECONDS ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE IS FUCKING WEARING?! OH MY GOD.

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

end of story, bye-

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed.
for the love of god, do you really have to keep this shit going? lets just say she hates the asshole and move on with our lives. god.

Just then, Draco walked up to me.
"Hi." he said.

"i'm breaking into your apparant home/graveyard/crypt place. i hope you don't mind."

"Hi." I replied flirtily.
THATS NOT A WORD.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.
who would have guessed they'd play a concert in a fictional town? this is just like when Reel Big Fish came to Gotham.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well.... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

and thats Chapter 2, no real story development. no real character interaction, nothing.

all we got was "i woke up, drank some blood, a guy i like-except-i-don't-which-must-mean-i-
do invited me to a concert."

see that? the entire fucking chapter summed up in one sentance.

god theres so much stupid shit in here and we're only two chapters in.

good fuck man.