megatorn gets cancer.

you damanded it so here!

Aquarius
There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a
speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a
day

Pisces
Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

Aries
The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound
watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

Taurus
You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go
back to sleep

Gemini
Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through
your chest

Cancer
The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in
the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's
test

Leo
Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's
face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of
strawberry Quik

Virgo
All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick

Libra
A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than
you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts
next week

Scorpio (me)
Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

Sagittarius
All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in
your den

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know
they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never
leave my house again

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the
relative position of the planets and the stars could have a special deep
significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let me give
you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid,
scientific, documented evidence, so you would have to be some kind of moron not
to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

I AM SO PISSED RIGTH NOW FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND I FEEL LIKE YELLING AT BABYS KITTYS N SHIT!!!!1111

I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 I HATE BABIES!!!!!!1111 i. hate. babies.

you battcha sweet supel ass!

mood: happy, not worried

Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't Worry - Be Happy

In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it Double
Don't Worry - Be Happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head,
somebody came and took your bed
Don't Worry, Be Happy

The landlord say your rent is late,
he may have to litigate
Don't Worry - Be Happy

Ain't got not cash, ain't got no style,
ain't got no gal to make you smile
Don't Worry - Be Happy

Cause when you worry your face will frown
and that will bring everybody down
Don't Worry - Be Happy