i know its only been about an hour, but i just can't get over how bad this story is.

so much so that it deserves a second have-at-it.

so with that lets dig into "My Immortal: Chapter 2"

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta!
get it, she says "fangs" instead of "thanks" because shes a goth, and appearantly goths find that kind of crap funny.

this story is awful enough to make someone give up on the goth subculture. seriously.

oh, and a "Z" at the end of it instead of an "S", because POR LETERACY IZ KEWL. and if you don't like that theology, don't worry, its only the altar of which this story is based around.

BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!
oh why, i'm a Prep because i don't like your story.

for not liking your story i'm rich and popular at school.

fucking idiot.

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again.
which is impossible. unless you count sleet. but i don't,

I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.
sometimes you just don't have any milk and you gotta put something on your cheerios.

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet with black lace on the ends.
in the last chapter Dark'ness wouldn't shut the fuck up about what she looked like, now she won't shut the fuck up about what the thing meant to hold her decaying corpse looks like. good god you're vain.

I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.
I DON'T NEED TO HEAR WHAT YOU'RE WEARING EVERY TEN SECONDS. GOOD FUCKING ZUES.

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)
oh my dear god are you FUCKING KIDDING!?

WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR 2 SECONDS ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE IS FUCKING WEARING?! OH MY GOD.

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

end of story, bye-

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed.
for the love of god, do you really have to keep this shit going? lets just say she hates the asshole and move on with our lives. god.

Just then, Draco walked up to me.
"Hi." he said.
"i'm breaking into your apparant home/graveyard/crypt place. i hope you don't mind."

"Hi." I replied flirtily.
THATS NOT A WORD.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.
who would have guessed they'd play a concert in a fictional town? this is just like when Reel Big Fish came to Gotham.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well.... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

and thats Chapter 2, no real story development. no real character interaction, nothing.

all we got was "i woke up, drank some blood, a guy i like-except-i-don't-which-must-mean-i-
do invited me to a concert."

see that? the entire fucking chapter summed up in one sentance.

god theres so much stupid shit in here and we're only two chapters in.

good fuck man.