tonight's episode isn't so much about the stupid videos idiots make and put on the internet, but the stupid videos SOULLESS CORPORATIONS make and put on the internet.

okay, that isn't fair. stupid people make these video's too.

when people think of animation they think of classics like Looney Tunes, Tom. and Jerry, stuff that shows the height of traditional animation

but today i want to show you the worst of it, the stuff so terrible it makes Alan Moore shed a single tear. the stuff so bad only the world's biggest, most horrible crapsack would ever give it a home.

and that horrid place you ask? the internet.

first off, lets start off with a little piece once posted by ZekeySpaceyLizard on HIS blog. this is an animation reel of a now defunct animation studio called "Wolf Tracer Studios".

fair warning, this stuff WAS shown on Tv in the 90's.

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the originality of DINOSAUR ISLAND has not been seen since Jurassic Park. and the opening song of "believe in Santa" will haunt my horrible horrible night terrors for the rest of my life. seriously, its like hear chipmunk banshees being tortured.

and this animation wouldn't even pass as a PS1 cinematic. look i know 3d animation was a fairly new thing at the time, but considering we had stuff out like "Toy Story" when this crap was made its just insulting.

whats really sad is that Dinosaur Island managed to drag Mark Hamill in as voice work. i think this youtube comment sums it up perfectly:

"Mark Hamill must have done the voice work in Dinosaur Island as a favor. Or as penance. Or as ransom for%uFEFF his family." -dwarfsid

lets move on before i break down and start crying.

too late, our next entry accomplished just that:

what do you get when you take some toys that were never very popular and give them a one and a half hour advertisement? Freaky Flickers.

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this came out in 2006 by the way. like seriously, look at this JAK 2 cinematic:

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thats right, a video game cutscene (you know, those thing people usually skip and are annoyed by?) is not only better animated than this movie, but better written, and more exciting than it too. and it was made 2 years prior, so theres no excuse here. none.

lets move on.

hey, do your kids like Pixar movies but you can't afford them? are they also stupid?

the solution is here!

behold, the riveting excitement of, THE LITTLE CARS!

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do not look into their soulless eyes. they will haunt you.
this got 2 sequels.

also, THE LITTLE PANDA FIGHTER!

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hubbub-WHAT? a PANDA? who wishes to be a DANCER? ohohoohoho! that is truly out there! why, it is ever, dare i say? WACKY! ohohohohohoho! ...*spit*

these imagination impaired assholes even had the balls to rip off Wall-e.
http://www.youtube.com/wath?v=k06cpG0r 9eo&feature=related

bastards.

but of course, the most well known rip-off is the infamous RATAOING.

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good god, where is the shame? where is the dignity? i guess its just easier to take credit for work that isn't your own. don't have a cow man. EEEEEYYYYYY.

i'm officially traumatized. i need something that doesn't suck to calm me down.

...

let's watch some Batman: the Brave and the Bold.

Deep Cover for Batman:

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ahhh, i feel much better now.

okay i'm done. i hate you all. i hope you suffered as much i did during this.