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homor
Self-published independent author, writer and avid enjoyer of stupid, popcorn entertainment. Always happy to help!
"We all have a thousand bad drawings in us, the sooner you get them out the better." - Chuck Jones.

Age 29, Male

Writer

The Shadow Realm

Joined on 11/11/05

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homor's News

Posted by homor - September 24th, 2007


The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling thats the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girls dream
Make a bad one good make a wrong one right
Power of love that keeps you home at night

Chorus 1 :
You dont need money, dont take fame
Dont need no credit card to ride this train
Its strong and its sudden and its cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
Thats the power of love
Thats the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But youll be glad baby when youve found
Thats the power makes the world goround

Chorus 2 :
And it dont take money, dont take fame
Dont need no credit card to ride this train
Its strong and its sudden it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you dont care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Can you feel it ?
Hmmm

Chorus 3 :
It dont take money and it dont take fame
Dont need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You wont feel nothin till you feel
You feel the power, just the power of love
Thats the power, thats the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

the power of love!


Posted by homor - September 20th, 2007


Yeah, I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want
So tell us what you want, what you really really want
I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha, I wanna ha
I wanna really really really wanna zigga zigga ah
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends (gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give (you've got to give)
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is

Hey!

I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And I'm so hot, 'cause I'm in hell
I'm not sick, but I'm not well
And it's a sin (yes it's a sin) to live so well

Ghetto superstar - that is what you are
Coming from afar, reaching for the stars
Run away with me, to another place
We can rely on each other, uh huh
From one corner to another, uh huh

Everybody (yeah)
Rock your body (yeah)
Everybody
Rock your body right
Backstreet's back, all right
All right

So don't delay, act now, supplies are running out
But now if you're still alive, six to eight years to arrive
And if you follow, there may be a tomorrow but if the offer's shun
You might as well be walking on the sun
Might as well be walking on the sun

Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic
Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic
Intergalactic planetary, planetary intergalactic

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You're never gonna keep me down

Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of light
Quicker than a ray of li-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ight

I wanna push you around, well I will, well I will
I wanna push you down, well I will, well I will
I wanna take you for granted
I wanna take you for granted
Yeah, yeah, well I will

I want something else
To get me through this semi-charmed kinda life, baby baby
I want something else
I'm not listening when you say good-bye
Doot doot doot doot do do do
Doot doot doot doot do do do
Doot doot doot doot do do do
Do do do do do do

There's lots of pretty, pretty ones
That want to get you high
But all the pretty, pretty ones
Will leave you low and blow your mind
We're all stars now in the dope show
We're all stars now in the dope show

Mmmbop, do floppa do wop
Do be dop ah
Do wap, do zap ah, do
Yeah-ee yeah
Mmmbop, do b'zap ah, do wop
Do be dop ah
Do wop, doom zap ah, do

I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares in my direction
Mama, this surely is a dream
Yeah, yeah mama, this surely is a dream
Dig it, yeah mama, this surely is

Closing time
One last call for alcohol
So finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time
You don't have to go home
But you can't stay here
I know who I wanna take me home
I know who I wanna take me home
I know who I wanna take me home
Take us home

'Cause it's CLOSSSIIINNGGG TTIIIMMMEEE!!!

Hey

POLKA POWER!


Posted by homor - September 18th, 2007


Sunshine go away today
I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's gone, he's tried to run my life
Don't know what he's asking

He tells me I'd better get in line
Can't hear what he's saying
When I grow up I'm going to make it mine
But these aren't dues I been paying

(Chorus)
How much does it cost, I'll buy it
The time is all we've lost, I'll try it
But he can't even run his own life
I'll be damned if he'll run mine, Sunshine

Sunshine go away today
I don't feel much like dancing
Some man's gone he's tried to run my life
Don't know what he's asking

Working starts to make me wonder where
The fruits of what I do are going
He says in love and war all is fair
But he's got cards he ain't showing

(Chorus)

Sunshine come on back another day
I promise you I'll be singing
This old world, she's gonna turn around
Brand new bells'll be ringing

GTFO sunshine.


Posted by homor - September 14th, 2007


1. Odin's tears cure cancer. Too bad odin has never cried. Ever.

2. guns don't kill people, Odin kills people.

3. there is no theroy of evolution, just a list of animals Odin allows to live.

4. the chief export of Odin is pain.

5. Odin never sleeps, he waits.

6. Odin has two speeds. walk, and kill.

7. the leading causes of death in the U.S.A are 1. heart disease 2. cancer 3. Odin

8. there is no chin under Odins bread, only another fist.

9. Odin drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

10. Odin never goes hunting, Odin goes KILLING.

11. When Odin calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.

12. Odin once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

13. Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Odin likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes

14. There are no races, only countries of people Odin has beaten to different shades of black and blue.

15. When Odin was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

16. Odin can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

17. An Odin-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

18. When Odin falls in water, Odin doesn't get wet. Water gets Odin.

19. Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1ORhK (Odin Roundhouse Kick)

20. Odin doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

21. In honor of Odin, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Odinsized.

22. Odin CAN believe it's not butter.

23. Odin can divide by zero.

24. The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Odin has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

25. When Odin talks, everybody listens. And dies

/shameless copie paste job.

some facts about the norse god Odin.


Posted by homor - September 9th, 2007


me and my girlfreind broke up today because We'd been together too long.

our relationship became Like a worn-out recording Of a favorite song.

so now that we're broken up im going to tell you all about myself.

my likes:
Pina Coladas
getting caught in the rain
the taste of champagne
making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
escapeing.

my dislikes:
yoga
people without have half a brain
health food.

so in summary:

If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape

Yes I like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red-tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape.

so thats about it, if you can relate to that list then You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape.

im looking for a girl.


Posted by homor - September 7th, 2007


"ERROR - You have been temporarily banned from posting to the BBS for 3 days. You have 2 days, 23 hours, 16 minutes and 14 seconds left until your ban is lifted. Do not attempt to create a secondary account to get around this ban. If we find evidence of you doing so all of your accounts will be terminated.

Reason for ban: Backseat moderating, creating a thread about an 'obvious' alt account. If you have concerns about alternate accounts, PM a mod, DON'T make a thread. -Dobio"

well, can't say i didn't have it coming.

well blog readers, for the next three days you will have to keep me entirtained.

so discuss.

im banned.


Posted by homor - September 2nd, 2007


And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
The Age of Aquarius
Aquarius! Aquarius!

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius! Aquarius!

When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
The Age of Aquarius
Aquarius! Aquarius!

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius! Aquarius!

When the moon is in the Seventh House


Posted by homor - August 26th, 2007


as you all know story writing is become a hobby.

im thinking of making of a new story about the main charecter dieing and going to asgard, just one problem, i have a bad case writers block.

this isn't just a "hmm, i can't think of what odin should eat at the dinner tablel" 5 minute writers block, this is "MY MIND IS A BLANK CANVAS, BUT SOME FUCKING DICKHEAD MADE ME SPILL MY PAINT ON THE GROUND AND I HOPE HE DIES OF AIDS" writers block.

any suggjestions? be createive.

a new story with norse mythology?


Posted by homor - August 16th, 2007


it started out as a normal day, like shit.

i was woken up by the loud screch of my shitty alarm clock, the toilet was broken, and the bath tub was spraying piss instead of water AGAIN.

i heard the phone ring while i was pissing in the broken toilet, whicth i knew that when i flushed it would just fall in the kitchen sink from the bathroom floor, and since i had a left over turkey in there i decided to just zip up my fly and awnser it.

it was my girlfreind on the phone, so i talked to her.

me: ello?
her: um....hi there.
me: oh hi tasha, how it going
her: um...good....i need to tell you something...
me: ok shoot.
her: um....i...think...i thinkneed to see other people...
me: wait, what?
her: im sorry, i just don't want to be together anymore.
me: why?
her: i just think we need to see other people is all, you know, take a break from each other.
me: BULL. SHIT.
her: oh so now you're calling me liar?
me: HELL FUCKING YES!
her: well im telling the truth.
me: yeah, and michael bay is a talented and brillant director.
her: I AM TELLING THE TRUTH, AND FOR THE RECORD I LIKE MICHAEL BAY!
and then she hung up.

i needed to know the truth, so i called the one person i thought i could trust, my best freind mike.

me: mike are you there?
mike: sup brah?
me: mike, i just had a shitty break up with my girl freind.
mike: which one, the one who turned out to be megatron or the one whos cheating on you with me?
me: the latter.
mike: oh.
me: ...wait...WHAT?
mike: OH SHI- it was supposd to be a suprise...
me: A SUPRISE!? A SUPRISE!? A SUPRISE!? ODIN AND ZUES HELP ME! A SUPRISE!?
mike: well....not a good one....
me: FUCK YOU MIKE, AND FUCK THAT WHORE OF A GIRLFREIND OF MINE!
mike: WELL WE'RE GETTING MARRIED IN RUSSIA JUST JUST TO SPITE YOU!

i hung up the phone as hard i could, breaking it with my rage, i thought he was lieing to piss me off more, but no, one week later they sent me an invitation and plane tickets.

my rage had skyrocketed, they we're getting married just to piss me off, and even wave it around over my head with an invite.

i curled up in a ball on the couch in sadness, just feeling sorry for myself, all of the sudden for getting mad about her cheating on me I was the bad guy, and they won, and i was pissed.

looking for any hope i could give to myself i looked up at the picture of jesus on my wall, and i said to myself "oh jesus, what would he do?" i then lefted my head up as high as i could and said, " oh jesus, what WOULD you do right now?"

i pointed my head down words, a smile began to form on my face, i just ha a great idea"THATS IT!" i yelled with great joy, for it was then i knew what would do, he wouldn't get mad, HE'D GET EVEN!

i knew what was about to do my mom and dad wouldn't approve of this, so i looked all around the streets until i found a smelly hobo who would escort me to russia for a bottle of voldka.

after flying to russia i went and bought a plane 2 tickets to a near-by sea-side village, perfect for a honeymoon.

i went over to there wedding, it was a dull genaric marrige in a dull genaric church. regular vows, almost no one since everyone in thier familys were saying this was a bad idea.

while they were walking down the aisle they walked up to me

mike: well look whos here
tasha: we were sure you'd be to mad to show up
me: well im over now.
mike: good to know buddy.
me: and just to show there's no hard feelings, heres some plane tickets for your honeymoon to a wonderful sea-side cillage just off the coast of norway.
mike: well that sounds lovely.

the idiots took the bate and everything was going according to plan.

i went back to the air port with another greesey smelly hobo and bought tickets to norway for part two of my plan.

i went down to the docks near the norway air-port and looked for good ship and crew for the most important part.

i found an old sea captain near an old viking ship, with a viking dressed crew and everything.

i talked to the sea captain.

me: nice ship got there.

him: this old peaice of shit? ay, it wouldn't even had been decent in the 1800s, much less 2007, and this crew? a bunch of stupid slack jawed idiots, they think they're vikings for gods sake! they've got axes, armor, and statues of odin for the sake of zues!

me: maybe i could take off your hands for a penny?

him: fine! i don't care how ya are! im sick of the sea life!

and now i had used all the money i had, but it didn't matter, i had a crew and a ship, and i would be getting some money on the side.

we sealed for days until we got there, the great land of norway, after all the work i did, it was time to strike.

we traveled thru the thick fog near our target, perfect for our getaway we the time came, and the final part of plan came to be.

i shouted out to my crew

me: ALRIGHT MEN! THIS IS IT! WE'RE ABOUT TO ENTER THE VILLAGE WHERE THE ONES WHO BETRAYED ME ARE! TO ARMS MEN! may odin protect us as we destroy the cowards.

we finaly came close enogth to the village to see the greating man, usaely greeting tourests to the old stlye village, but today, he'd greet the last people he'll ever greet outside of the underworld

i took aim at the coward with my bow as he began to speak.

"why hello there marry visitors! i am todd, welcome to-GRAHG"

before he could finish the arrow i had fired had hit his skull, his body was burned by the flames on the arrow, his screams echoed thru out the town, they could of ran, they could of hid, they could have known the fury a viking crew can bring, but they didn't, much to my plessure.

i shouted "THE TIME HAS COME! ATTTTTACCCKKK!!!!!!"
i yelled "LET NO ONE ESCAPE ALIVE!"

as i shouted a flury of flameing arrows rained down upon the village, many people ran out screaming, others burned to death,

the large fires were merely to guide us thru the town on our much worse attack, my men stormed thru the village, killing anyone and everyone who wasnt a viking, as was i.

many of the burning houses were ran saked, anything of value was taken, and anything that wasnt was left to burn.

we also kidnapped a few people, those people would into slavery. those who resisted were killed.

i myself was killing many cowards aswell, i kept them from so much as touching my with the use of my polarm, i remaned untouched by the cowards and their gurads.

as i traveled thru the burning village i found one of tratiors i was looking for, mike himself, i walked up to him as he triped on a tree root.

me: well look who it is.
mike: oh thank god! please! help me get out of here! theres these crazy assholes every where! they kidnapped tasha! we gotta get out of here bud!
me: so my men have the whore do they? this is fantastic news.
mike: wait, your men? oh my god! YOU DID ALL THIS! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!

he tryed to get up but before he could i stabed him in the back, as he did me when he slpet with my girlfreind.

he turned over, holding on to life as hard as he could, i shouted "DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH!' as i stabed him over and over again.

i saw as his pupils went closer and closer to his forehead. until his pupils completely disapeered from his forehead.

i pulled my spear from his dead body, i had taken down my first target, and, if he was right, the second target was just in sight.

thats when i saw my men near me, they appered to be holding a women.

it wa indeed, my ex.

viking crew men: sir! we've captured the women!
me: why hello there tasha
her: listen man i know you're upset BUT THIS IS THE FUCKING EPICDOME OF INSANE!
me: quite you winch!
me: men! time to cut of the unfaihtful winchs head off!

they forced her to kneel down, once she was on her knees i droped the spear and was haned my axe by one of my men, i held it up in air and shouted "DIE YOU SLUT!" as i swiftly cut her head off.

it was over, she was dead, and so was mike, all my hard work had finaly payed off, the tratior was dead, and so was the bitch, i heard one of my men say "you wanna go hit up the monestary?" i said no, it had been a long day and all i wanted to do now was cash in the goods we stole and go home, the battle was over, we won.

we all quickly returned to the ship, and, just as quickly as we came to that god forsaken village, we had left.

we went to norway, cashed in the goods, and i had drop me off back in russia.

i took a plane back to america, and then a bus home, it was late, i told my mom and dad i went back packing in eroupe for school. (i go to summer school.)

i went upstairs and went to sleep, the next day i woke up late because my horid sound alarm clock finaly broke(thank god), my toilet was fixed, and the bath tub wasn't pooring piss anymore.

i heard a ring on my cell phone, it was from a girl i knew, she wanted to go out with me after she learned of my break up, my ex cheating on me with my best freind, and them getting married just to spite me.

the moral of the story: hobos make everything better.

the end.

i got revange on my whore of a girlfreind.


Posted by homor - August 13th, 2007


a baby born will die before the sin.

chocolate rain.