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homor
Self-published independent author, writer and avid enjoyer of stupid, popcorn entertainment. Always happy to help!
"We all have a thousand bad drawings in us, the sooner you get them out the better." - Chuck Jones.

Age 30, Male

Writer

The Shadow Realm

Joined on 11/11/05

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homor's News

Posted by homor - September 16th, 2008


"DC Comics is asking stores around the country to destroy tens of thousands of copies of a new Batman comic book because of a "printing gaffe" that revealed obscenities, the New York Post reported.

"Text every friend you've got, s---heads," Batgirl tells a group of thugs in "All-Star Batman & Robin the Boy Wonder" No. 10. "Sell your poison somewhere else. This here arcade belongs to the f---ing Batgirl."

The S- and F-words were supposed to be blacked out, but two shades of black were used, and the expletives are clearly legible, as are the thugs' A-words, F-words and C-words.

"A printing gaffe has caused a problem with All Star Batman. As soon as the problem was discovered, we quickly asked retailers to pull the issue. We apologize to our retailers and fans for any offense or inconvenience," a DC Comics spokesperson said in a statement provided to FOXNews.com.

While "All-Star Batman & Robin" isn't aimed at kids, it also doesn't have a "mature readers" warning on the cover."

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,42 1541,00.html

snippet from said comic below:

Batman Comic Book Accidentally Reveals Obscenities


Posted by homor - September 14th, 2008


at first i was really upset over it and felt it unfair,

then i took a piss,

now i'm all ike "eh, fuck it."

also heres men at work:

.
/* */
heres james brown:

.
/* */
heres james brown parody:

.
/* */
now how about i leave you with something that will disgust and damage you?

i got banned.


Posted by homor - September 13th, 2008


I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.
I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.

I have OCD.

i have OCD.


Posted by homor - September 12th, 2008


HAHA!

tacky shock value joke!

yesterday was 9/11.


Posted by homor - September 10th, 2008


Many years ago today something grew
inside of your mother...
That thing was you

YOU

YOU YOU YOU YOU

Did she scream did she cry
Only those that are born are the ones that
Get to die

One more year closer to dying
Rotting organs ripping grinding
Biological discordance
Birthday equals self abhorrence

Years keep passing aging always
Mutate into vapid slugs
Doctor gives a new perscription
Bullet in a fucking gun

One more year closer to dying
Plastic surgeons fuel the lying
You forget why you came in here
Your mind rots with every New Year

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

Now you're old and full of hatred
Take a pill to masturbatred
Children point to you and scream
Because they will become that thing

One more year of further suffering
There's no point of fucking bluffing
Open up your DETHDAY present
It's a box of fucking nothing

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY
DIE DIE
DETHDAY
BIRTHDAY
DETHDAY

RSVP PLEASE
For the DETH of thee
You have little time
And you're running out of life

Happy Birthday
You're gonna die

.
/* */


Posted by homor - September 7th, 2008


"Anal sex most often refers to the sex act involving insertion of the penis into the rectum.[1] The term anal sex can also sometimes include other sexual acts involving the anus, including but not limited to anilingus and fingering.

It is a form of sexual behavior considered to be comparatively high in risk, due to the vulnerability of the tissues and the septic nature of the anus.[2] As the rectal mucosa provides little natural lubrication, a personal lubricant is most often required or preferred when penetrating the anus."

.
/* */
"author battles the forst ogres and giants" was made in 1977 as an attempt to upstage the resturant KFC.

it was such a pathedic failure it was locked away forever.

.
/* */
fuck you, i'm falling into a diabetic coma.

.
/* */
also, stop me if you heard this before:

a bunch of animals gather up and got to a WACKY place and get into a whole buncha' WACKY and CRAAZY misadventures,

the only reason i'm going to watch this movie is because the guy who plays brock sampson is in it, and he fucking rocks.

.
/* */


Posted by homor - September 7th, 2008


The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling thats the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girls dream
Make a bad one good make a wrong one right
Power of love that keeps you home at night

You dont need money, dont take fame
Dont need no credit card to ride this train
Its strong and its sudden and its cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
Thats the power of love
Thats the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it it might make you mad
But youll be glad baby when youve found
Thats the power makes the world goround

And it dont take money, dont take fame
Dont need no credit card to ride this train
Its strong and its sudden it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you dont care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Can you feel it ?
Hmmm

It dont take money and it dont take fame
Dont need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You wont feel nothin till you feel
You feel the power, just the power of love
Thats the power, thats the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

.
/* */


Posted by homor - September 5th, 2008


He says he knows me
But I don't know that guy
He's waving at me
But he looks kind of mad

Some crazy bastard wants to hit me
He's waving me over so he can hit me
But I don't know that guy
But I'm not going over there
Some crazy bastard wants to hit me

How have we come to this pass?
How can I get to my car?
Climb in, turn the ignition
Pull onto the highway
Where I am free

Some crazy bastard wants to hit me
He's waving me over so he can hit me
And who the hell is he?
I can't believe this is happening
That crazy bastard wants to hit me

.
/* */


Posted by homor - September 4th, 2008


friday the 13th, camp cyrstal lake.

there is a large, burning broken plane outside the gates of the camp.

inside the camp's gate, the malcom family is sitting around a bonfire, except for lois, who is pacing around ranting.

malcom looks over to the screen.

"you're probebly wondering how this happened" says malcom "well, mom and dad were gonna take us on this trip to hawai for their anniversery, but then the pilot got drunk and crashed right outside this abandoned camp, we were the only survivors of the crash, and now mom is really mad."

"honey" said Hal "the important thing is everyone is alri-"

"ALRIGHT!?" says lois "ALRIGHT!? WE WERE JUST IN A PLANE CRASH 12 PEOPLE ARE DEAD, THE KIDS ARE PROBEBLY SCARED TO DEATH RIGHT NOW AND-"

malcom turns his heaad towards the screen again, whilist lois was talking

"wow." said malcom "i haven't seen mom get this mad since, well...yesterday."

francis stood up and started yelling.

"you know what lois?" said francis "standing up and yelling isn't helping anyone!"

"oh yeah!?" shouted lois "well what big ideas do you have?!"

"i have a great idea you old shrillbag!" shouted francis "me and Piama are going to find a cabin in the woods and camp out ther for the night! come Piama!"

francis stood up and walked away, Piama rolled her eyes and followed him.

"oh yeah!?" shouted lois "come on hal, were finding a cabin too, a better one!"

lois walked away, hal followed her, his head hung in shame.

malcom, dewey, and reece are the only ones left around the campfire.

"lets go throw stones into the lake" says dewey.

"yeah!" says reece "hey! maybe whe'll find a dead body in the river left over from when that crazy old lady started stabbing the lifegurads who let her son die!"

reece and dewey ran off.

malcom looked back at the screen.

"normally i'd go with them" said malcom "but since the logical likable always makes it all the way to the end of these movies and ends up killing the bad guy, i think i'll be okay no matter what i do, besides, i'm a main chareceter."

meanwhile...

francis and Piama are walking thru the woods alone, then suddenly, a sound is heard, it sounds like a twig snapping.

"What the hell was that?" says Piama

"i'll go check it out, its probebly a deer." says francis.

francis walks off the path into the dense forest.

meanwhile...

malcom is still sitting at the now burned out campfire.

malcom looks at the screen.

"you know what?" says malcom to you "i think i'll juist go meet up with reece and dewey now.

meanwhile...

francis is walking thru the pathless forest.

"hello?" says francis "is anyone there?"

francis hears the sound of someone stepping on leeves behind him.

he looks back and sees nothing.

"phew," says francis as he turned his head back slowly "you know for a second i tho-"

the, standing infront of him, towering a good 2 and a half feet above him, was jason vorhees.

"HOLY SH-"

jason cupped his hand over francis's mouth.

jason rasied his knife the air as francis whimpered.

meanwhile...

the boys are throwing stones into the lak,e when suddenly a loud scream is eard.

"that sounding like Piama!" said reece.

the boys ran off.

meanwhile...

lois is soaking in a bathtub on the second floor of a cabin, while hal rubs her shoulders, lois looks very unpleased.

"i tell ya' hal." said lois "those boys just make me want to put on a hockey mask and go on a murderous rampage sometimes."

a loud and forceful knock is heard on the door.

"oh for the love of christ!" shouts lois "you stay here hal, i'll handle it."

lois gets out of the bubble bath, puts on a robe and walks off.

hal stays in polace on his knees for a moent, then proceeds to dunk his head into the water, remaning still.

later...

lois opens the cabin door with great anger, she sees jason standing outsiede with a large wooder spear in his hand.

"oh ha ha real friggin' funny." says lois as she pokes jason the chest "who the hell do think you are? coming over here in that cheap halloween costume trying to scare me, look buddy, i have one hell of a shitty day so if you cou-"

jason grabs her by the hair and stas the spear thru her mouth.

he then throws her onto the ground, the spear still in.

meanwhile

dewey and and malcom are looking around a set of trees.

"where in gods are they?" said malcom

"guys!" shouts reece from afar "i found em'!"

malcom and dewey ran over to find the dead bodies of francis and Piama piled ontop each other.

"dear god" said malcom.

malcom looks over to the screen

"well, then agian i kinda saw this coming."

"we gotta warn mom and dad!" says dewey.

"no! they're probebly already dead!" says reece. "that means the killer is probebly going to go after us next."

"i'm not gonna let that happen!" says malcom.

malcom picks up a large log and hands it to reece.

"reece, you go kick his ass." says malcom

"okay!" shouts reece.

reece runs off with a giant smile on his face.

"you know reece is gonna get his ass kicked right?" says dewey.

"yeah" says malcom "but thats a good thing cause were using him as a distraction."

later...

jason walks thru the campgrounds, when suddenly reece jumps out of a gruop of trees.

"hey monster!" shouts reece "its time you got the ass kicking you had coming to you since the third movie!"

reece ran towards jason, log in hand.

reece tripped over the remains of the campfire, dropping the log.

jason stomped on reece's head until; it caved in.

he attempted to walk off, but he was hit by a large boulder on a rope.

he was knocked into the side of a cabin, on top of the cabin was two larges tanks of gas, which spilled onto jason.

malcom ran out of the woods, a large tourch in his hands.

"okay monster!' shouted malcom "now you're gonna get it!"

malcom looks over to the screen.

"oh man!" says malcom, seeming excited "i know talking to you puts me at grave risk, but this is just so awesome! i mean, come on! i'm holding a tourch in my hands, and i'm gonna throw it at a zombie! th-"

jason grabbed malcom by the neck, stole hsi tourch, hit him over the head with it, and threw him down.

"that does it!" shouted dewey.

jason turned around, and saw dewey standing atop the cabin with a tourch in his hand.

dewey turned his head towards the screen.

"i know this is malcom's thing, but hes dead now." says dewey.

dewey looked back at jason and shouted "eat shit and die.

he threw the tourch at jason, and he exploded, taking the cabin (and dewey) with him.

jason's guts, dewey's guts, and piaces of the cabin, and fire were all blownn about thru the campsite.

jason's mask flutter down, landing on the campfire site.

the camp fire re-lit itslef, burning the mask.

the eyes of the mask glew with a bright red light as it burned away.

[the end]

okay wow that sucked.


Posted by homor - September 4th, 2008


File must be a .gif or .jpg no larger than 150k. Images larger than 464 pixels square will be scaled to fit.

EDIT: nevermind, i found it.

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