friday the 13th, camp cyrstal lake.
there is a large, burning broken plane outside the gates of the camp.
inside the camp's gate, the malcom family is sitting around a bonfire, except for lois, who is pacing around ranting.
malcom looks over to the screen.
"you're probebly wondering how this happened" says malcom "well, mom and dad were gonna take us on this trip to hawai for their anniversery, but then the pilot got drunk and crashed right outside this abandoned camp, we were the only survivors of the crash, and now mom is really mad."
"honey" said Hal "the important thing is everyone is alri-"
"ALRIGHT!?" says lois "ALRIGHT!? WE WERE JUST IN A PLANE CRASH 12 PEOPLE ARE DEAD, THE KIDS ARE PROBEBLY SCARED TO DEATH RIGHT NOW AND-"
malcom turns his heaad towards the screen again, whilist lois was talking
"wow." said malcom "i haven't seen mom get this mad since, well...yesterday."
francis stood up and started yelling.
"you know what lois?" said francis "standing up and yelling isn't helping anyone!"
"oh yeah!?" shouted lois "well what big ideas do you have?!"
"i have a great idea you old shrillbag!" shouted francis "me and Piama are going to find a cabin in the woods and camp out ther for the night! come Piama!"
francis stood up and walked away, Piama rolled her eyes and followed him.
"oh yeah!?" shouted lois "come on hal, were finding a cabin too, a better one!"
lois walked away, hal followed her, his head hung in shame.
malcom, dewey, and reece are the only ones left around the campfire.
"lets go throw stones into the lake" says dewey.
"yeah!" says reece "hey! maybe whe'll find a dead body in the river left over from when that crazy old lady started stabbing the lifegurads who let her son die!"
reece and dewey ran off.
malcom looked back at the screen.
"normally i'd go with them" said malcom "but since the logical likable always makes it all the way to the end of these movies and ends up killing the bad guy, i think i'll be okay no matter what i do, besides, i'm a main chareceter."
meanwhile...
francis and Piama are walking thru the woods alone, then suddenly, a sound is heard, it sounds like a twig snapping.
"What the hell was that?" says Piama
"i'll go check it out, its probebly a deer." says francis.
francis walks off the path into the dense forest.
meanwhile...
malcom is still sitting at the now burned out campfire.
malcom looks at the screen.
"you know what?" says malcom to you "i think i'll juist go meet up with reece and dewey now.
meanwhile...
francis is walking thru the pathless forest.
"hello?" says francis "is anyone there?"
francis hears the sound of someone stepping on leeves behind him.
he looks back and sees nothing.
"phew," says francis as he turned his head back slowly "you know for a second i tho-"
the, standing infront of him, towering a good 2 and a half feet above him, was jason vorhees.
"HOLY SH-"
jason cupped his hand over francis's mouth.
jason rasied his knife the air as francis whimpered.
meanwhile...
the boys are throwing stones into the lak,e when suddenly a loud scream is eard.
"that sounding like Piama!" said reece.
the boys ran off.
meanwhile...
lois is soaking in a bathtub on the second floor of a cabin, while hal rubs her shoulders, lois looks very unpleased.
"i tell ya' hal." said lois "those boys just make me want to put on a hockey mask and go on a murderous rampage sometimes."
a loud and forceful knock is heard on the door.
"oh for the love of christ!" shouts lois "you stay here hal, i'll handle it."
lois gets out of the bubble bath, puts on a robe and walks off.
hal stays in polace on his knees for a moent, then proceeds to dunk his head into the water, remaning still.
later...
lois opens the cabin door with great anger, she sees jason standing outsiede with a large wooder spear in his hand.
"oh ha ha real friggin' funny." says lois as she pokes jason the chest "who the hell do think you are? coming over here in that cheap halloween costume trying to scare me, look buddy, i have one hell of a shitty day so if you cou-"
jason grabs her by the hair and stas the spear thru her mouth.
he then throws her onto the ground, the spear still in.
meanwhile
dewey and and malcom are looking around a set of trees.
"where in gods are they?" said malcom
"guys!" shouts reece from afar "i found em'!"
malcom and dewey ran over to find the dead bodies of francis and Piama piled ontop each other.
"dear god" said malcom.
malcom looks over to the screen
"well, then agian i kinda saw this coming."
"we gotta warn mom and dad!" says dewey.
"no! they're probebly already dead!" says reece. "that means the killer is probebly going to go after us next."
"i'm not gonna let that happen!" says malcom.
malcom picks up a large log and hands it to reece.
"reece, you go kick his ass." says malcom
"okay!" shouts reece.
reece runs off with a giant smile on his face.
"you know reece is gonna get his ass kicked right?" says dewey.
"yeah" says malcom "but thats a good thing cause were using him as a distraction."
later...
jason walks thru the campgrounds, when suddenly reece jumps out of a gruop of trees.
"hey monster!" shouts reece "its time you got the ass kicking you had coming to you since the third movie!"
reece ran towards jason, log in hand.
reece tripped over the remains of the campfire, dropping the log.
jason stomped on reece's head until; it caved in.
he attempted to walk off, but he was hit by a large boulder on a rope.
he was knocked into the side of a cabin, on top of the cabin was two larges tanks of gas, which spilled onto jason.
malcom ran out of the woods, a large tourch in his hands.
"okay monster!' shouted malcom "now you're gonna get it!"
malcom looks over to the screen.
"oh man!" says malcom, seeming excited "i know talking to you puts me at grave risk, but this is just so awesome! i mean, come on! i'm holding a tourch in my hands, and i'm gonna throw it at a zombie! th-"
jason grabbed malcom by the neck, stole hsi tourch, hit him over the head with it, and threw him down.
"that does it!" shouted dewey.
jason turned around, and saw dewey standing atop the cabin with a tourch in his hand.
dewey turned his head towards the screen.
"i know this is malcom's thing, but hes dead now." says dewey.
dewey looked back at jason and shouted "eat shit and die.
he threw the tourch at jason, and he exploded, taking the cabin (and dewey) with him.
jason's guts, dewey's guts, and piaces of the cabin, and fire were all blownn about thru the campsite.
jason's mask flutter down, landing on the campfire site.
the camp fire re-lit itslef, burning the mask.
the eyes of the mask glew with a bright red light as it burned away.
[the end]
okay wow that sucked.
