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homor
Self-published independent author, writer and avid enjoyer of stupid, popcorn entertainment. Always happy to help!
"We all have a thousand bad drawings in us, the sooner you get them out the better." - Chuck Jones.

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Justice Case Files: #1- an overview.

Posted by homor - May 23rd, 2009


what would you expect from a comic called "Justice case Files"?

i would expect a shitty Law and Order Rip-off. only with even MORE dark tones and Rob Liefeld art.

well thankfully we're spared THAT train wreck in favour of another train wreck. and this train is carrying propaganda.

Justice Case Files is nothing more than a bad PSA in comic fourm about law. its put out but a non-profit group called "National Center for State Courts" to "educate" teenagers about law and order. and by "educate" i mean pump mindless propaganda into them and hope they're stupid enough to take it in as fact.

the nice old folks at Wired.comhave set a PDF file for us all, so that we may all be "educated" on the PURE EVILS that is that which is discussed in this comic.

http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/thre atlevel/files/propogandacomic.pdf

and what said pure evils discussed in said comic?

MUSIC PIRACY!

*dun dun DUUNNNN*

...

yes, of all the things this Law PSA comic could have talked about, Drugs, Murder, Rape, Child Abuse, Robbery, Grand Theft Auto, or hell, even Cyber Bullying they choose to talk about the dangers of illegal downloading. PERFECT.

with all that said, i shall give you an overview of said comic, tell you all the things i find stupid about it. so that you don't actually have to read this propagandic shit pile.

---

i don't have much to say about the cover.

the young woman in prison grab is our main character, Megan, or should i say: THE HARDENED COPYRIGHT INFRINGING CRIMINAL BRINGING UNTOLD TERROR ONTO THE INNOCENT HARD WORKING MILLIONARE "ARTISTS".

other than that there reall isn't HOLY CRAP! is that Aunt May helping the Black Man hold the over sized Sign? and is that Commissioner Gordon in the backround?

could this comic not only be a bad PSA but also a giant Marvel powerless-Supporting Character VS DC powerless-Supporting character event?

anyway, our comic opens to- AUNT MAY? as shes apparantly being thrown out her house by the city.

i mean seriously, how could you throw Aunt May out of her house? what would Spiderman do? oh nevermind he'd probably sell his soul to the devil to get rid of her Mortgage.

Aunt May comments that she wishes her husband Morgan were still around. and she won't give her house up without a fight.

okay i know that isn't really Aunt May but i'm calling her thaat anyway, it makes the comic more bearable to think actually intresting characters and plotlines are connected to this garbage.

on the next page we see Aunt May going down Stairs while our Protagonist Megan is making toast, Aunt May thinks "Megan is such a sweet girl, so inteligent" and then on the next panel we see her carrying a piece of toast in her mouth.

apparantly Megan is in a hurry because shes late to school, Aunt May offers to drive her but Megan declines the offer and says that she'll just catch a ride on the second bus.

Aunt May thinks "i want to share the letter about the hearing with her, but i don't want to upset her."

if only Spiderman was here, he'd not only break it to her gently but add some actual redeeming value to this stupid comic.

Megan kisses Aunt May on the cheek and goes to school, where apparantly Morgan Freeman works as a teacher.

Freeman tells Morgan that he's immpressed with her wrok and that he didn't even teach the technique she used.

through a dull conversation we learn that Megan's Father was a Pharmacist and that bother her Parents died when she was Six years old, and that her Grandmother takes care of her now.

wow, the only way this can even be REMOTELY intresting is by pretending a boring character from Spiderman and the narrator from March of the Penguin are in this comic. thats just sad.

Morgan Freeman tells her that if she keeps her good work up she can work in the School's research lab next year. gee, it looks like our friend Morgan has been through alot of hardships but has a promising future! i can SO relate to that, i hope she doesn't get caught up with the wrong crowd or anything!

oh, and apparantly his name is Professor Mulhern, but i'm just going to pretend he's Morgan Freeman.

so onto the next page where we see Megan and her friends are having a Slumber Party or something. gee, i wonder if THIS is the part where she gets into the wrong side of the law? THIS COMIC SURE DOES HAVE ME HOOKED.

one of her friends comments that a band called "Cruel Mantra" is coming out with a new album. apparantly Megan's friends are into fake bands that double as plot devices.

but then things take a turn for the worst when her friend (who's name is Henry) tells them he's DOWNLOADING it! *gasp* Henry, you monster! how dare you STEAL that potential money from all those poor Millionare talentless hacks?

Megan comments that he shouldn't be doing that, as it is illegal. (atleast i assume its Megan talking as theres no pointer on her speech bubble.)

Henry proceeds to comment "I won't get Busted, Megan. the cyber police aren't looking for us poor Collage kids" you know, poor collage kids, like the guys who made Napster! "we don't have pockets."

thats right! the RIAA is too busy going after olds ladies, Children and single moms!

oh poor Henry, if only you knew that it doesn't matter how much money you have, its if you have any at all.

i also love how Henry has the most evil look on his face while saying this, they're demonizing illegal downloaders so much Henry may aswell be Mephisto trying to get Spiderman to give him his Marriage.

gee, i sure do wish i was reading Spiderman right now. hell, i wish i was reading Youngblood instead of this propogandic crap.

Megan Comments "well, Cruel Mantra IS my favourite band" OH NO! is Megan going to...THE DARK SIDE? will she down the wrong path?

the answer? WHO THE FUCK CARES? i don't give even the slightest bit of a damn for these generic cookie-cutter after-school special idiots, theres that makes these characters devolped or intresting.

Megan went through some tough times and i guess THATS a step in the right direction, but she has NOTHING else going for her, Batman has dead Parents but he's devolped and intresting. this just blows.

this comic has a way with reminding me of actually decent comics i'd much rather be reading.

reading this rag is a chore, the only reason i'm still reading this idiotic trite is so i can tell you all how stupid it is, which in itself is stupid, I'M BEING SUCKED INTO A VORTEX OF STUPIDITY!

the next page deals with Aunt May;s fight to keep her house under her ownship but you know what? i really don't give a crap about what the hell Aunt May seems to be doing.

the comic cuts to a few months later, Aunt May is leaving Megan home alone while she goes out to, i don't know, flirt with Deadpool or something.

great, thats THREE comics so far that i'd rather be reading.

Megan is talking on the Phone with her Friend, and it turns out she downloaded 2,000 songs illegally. which is a ludicrous number but i won't question it since and even more stupid inaccuraccie is going to come up soon.

anyway, a Police man comes up to her door and tells she has a court date for illegally downloading 2,000 songs.

back to the civil case, apparantly Stan Lee is the Plantiff lawyer.

if this is one of Stan Lee's actual Cameos, i'm extremly dissipointed in him.

anyway, on the next page we see Aunt May come home from the completely unintresting civil case, only to discover the horid truth: MEGAN IS GOING TO COURT FOR ILLEGAL DOWNLOADING! they hug and Aunt May tells her everything is gonna be alright.

by GOD! Spiderman! that hardened illegal downloading criminal has Aunt May! you gotta save her!

any way, turn to the next few pages and BLAH BLAH CIVIL CASE BLAH and then we see Aunt May is talking to the city's attourney and says money is tight and that she can't afford a Lawyer, so they've been given a Public defender, named Tom Peters.

wait, Tom Peters? from Tom goes to the Mayor? as if they didn't already have ENOUGH unintentional cameos.

the guy assures her Tom Peters is great and that her Grandchild will be fine.

then we cut to the court case, where the prosecuter (Terry Williams) is giving his opening statament.

"Many consider Illegal downloading a victimless crime, but NOTHING could be further from the truth!"

yeah! think all those poor innocent Billionares who lose POTENTIONAL money every time you downloading the only good song from a shitty overpriced Album from a band whose only had a handful of good songs anyway.

our "HEROIC" prosecuter recommends a HUGE fine and 2 years in jail for Criminal copyright infringement.

but, wait...

Criminal copyright infringement is for people who DISTURBUTE copyrighted meterial, NOT PEOPLE WHO DOWNLOAD IT.

this ISN'T a crimminal case, THIS IS A FUCKING CIVIL MATTER, THIS SHOULD NOT IVOLVE THE STATE.

the entire POINT of this comic is to educate kids about the law and yet YOU FUCKING IDIOTS DIDN'T EVEN DO YOUR FUCKING RESEACH BEFORE YOU MADE IT. DUMBASSES. FUCK YOU.

instead of throwing to moronic mis-handled case out, the Judge decides to give Megan 3 years of probation and 200 hours of community service. WHICH IS IDIOTIC CONSIDERING THAT THIS SHOULD BE IN A FUCKING CIVIL COURT AND SHE CAN'T LEGALLY DO THAT.

also, DAMN. the Defense attourney even LOOKS like Tom Peters from Tom Goes to the Mayor.

so Megan declares that she'll NEVER download music without paying for it again and she gets no criminal record. which is good CONSIDERING THA- oh forget it, this comic is immune to logic.

and the civil case ends pretty much as you expect it, Aunt May gets to keep her house, which is good because this side story, while rather dull, is rather accurate, and its actually kind of touching.

still, they could have puppies being saved from a burning building and it wouldn't be touching enough to make up for the idiotic main plot.

oh, and guess what? instead of being bitter about being unjustly charged in a criminal court and having to spend 3 years in probation, she says "i never realized how much illegal downloading had an effect on-" YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. i don't give a crap what the hell about this comic's forced, inaccurate and stupid moral about "the EVILS of illegal downloading" is.

this comic chooses to blame illegal downloaders for the record industries issues, rather than blame the RIAA for its incompitencey and idiocy, or the fact that CDs are an outdated Media, and thats why bands are offering MP3's that cost money.

the comic ends by explaining what all the legal terms used in the comic ment (the only ACTUALLY educational part of this stupid "educational" comic,) but not at all explain why Megan was charged with a CRIMINAL offense for a CIVIL crime.

this comic sucks fucking shit, and i'm sorry i ever read it, even if it was free.

this was handed out to 50,000 students on several schools. and i'm sure 49,997 of them laughed at it and tossed in the trash.

the real crime here isn't he illegal downloading,

it isn't the city trying to close down on Spiderman's Aunt's house.

it isn't even that Tom Peters, Comminsioner Gordon, Morgan Freeman and Aunt May all make unauthorized Cameo apperances.

its the fact that i just wasted a good chunk of my life reading it.


Comments

You are talented at ranting

thank you very much.

but i can't really take much credit though, this text review was largely based on that of Linkara's.