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18 Game Reviews

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The save system is totally bugged. I don't know if this is a specific issue with my browser or what, but when I come back to the game after a while, it resets to a point at the beginning when I reached level 3. The game is unfinishable in this state unless I play it all in one sitting. Again, I don't know if this is just an issue on my end, but it really hurts an otherwise fantastic classic NG game.

Very impressive use of simple technology and sound mixing.

Why is the game narrated by Postal Dude? Well, why not?

This game hasn't aged well. The controls are unresponsive and floaty, feeling like they only work about half the time. The bad guys soak up way too much damage. I like the idea of the enemies having a pattern you have to learn and exploit, but here it just feels like it slows everything down. Every encounter feels like a boss fight, and not in a good way.

I like the fight with the Pizza Guy, but that was about the only good boss fight. Then again, I beat Giko and the Nerd Guy by exploiting the game. That's another thing, the auto-targeting system is very finicky and won't work if you're already firing, and enemies seem to either hit you perfect or be completely oblivious to your location even when you're standing right there. I end up beating the nerdo bosses by just rolling and shooting in ways that the AI didn't seem to be prepared for, like past a shield or into a wall over and over.

When you're playing a run-and-gun game, you want the combat to feel fluid, fast and satisfying. Think of Contra or Megaman, those games were challenging but they moved fast and most enemies only took about one or two hits. Every encounter here lasts for far too long and by the end you just feel exhausted.

The story, art and character design was really nice, though. I always like it when people explore Pico a a character and let us delve into his little world with all his classmates and friends. Too bad the ending was an ancient meme. Would've been a great time for a character moment between Pico and Nene or Darnell, or maybe some OC made up just for the game.

Overall, some flash games stand the test of time quite well. This doesn't.

Well, this was just wonderful. It's been a long time since I wrote a review for something on here IIRC, but I thought such a clever and funny idea deserved some kudos. Thank you so much for this little delight.

The Retsuprae guys were pretty hard on this game, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The controls are clunky and they make you feel like you don't actually have much control over your character, which would be a weakness if this were an action game. But since this is a survival-horror game, not being in full control of your character adds to the tension.

The atmosphere in this game is great, the creepiness of the house and the constant, looming dread, the way certain areas are safe one minute and dangerous the next, the whole thing feels like a classic resident evil game. I really appreciate it.

and the production quality is really good. The way the art is realistic but the movements are janky and paper-like gives the game a charming kind of uncanny-valley effect which again, would normally be a weakness, but in a horror game the uncanny valley is your friend, not the enemy.

Unfortunately, the game's abrupt ending and incredibly brazen sequel hook is a major problem, and the fact that the sequel is basically the same game with different puzzles and slightly more rooms doesn't help matters. Were this a standalone game, I would have given it 4 stars.

Instead, I'm leaving you with a respectable 3.5.

I'm logging into this site for the first time in four years to tell you great job. These types of people seriously needed to be taken down a peg.

MinorAtrocityGames responds:

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. Yeah, sometimes their own 'justice' gets in the way of their perception of what's really going on in the world.

This certainly isn't a bad game. It's a very competent point-and-click game with pretty decent graphics. The problem is that I already played this game eight years ago. Played the shit out of it, in fact. Aside from some odd easter eggs, there's pretty much zero new content. If you've played Pico's School, you've played this. All it really is a re-release with updated graphics. Now, I'd be even more upset about that if professional game companies weren't guilty of doing the same thing. (Stay classy, Nintendo.)

I guess a lot of people are happy to play the same games over and over again so long as the graphics are shiny and new, but I'm not one of those people. I'm not saying I hated it, but I didn't really liked it either. It's a "3" but a soft 3. I don't want you to read this and feel disparaged, because this game is very competent. It's undeniably well made, it's just that it doesn't really offer anything new. When I play a game like this, I think "why do we need it?" It's sort of like the Robocop Remake or one of those

Here's some advice if you ever do something like this again: the smallest improvement or change can push something like this over the edge. Like take the other Pico's School remake floating around. That had full WSAD movement and better gunplay. I'm not saying you have to make a completely new game or rewrite the engine/mechanics, but some extra content would make a world of difference. How about some extra rooms? Or a new boss? Or a new puzzle?

Better yet: you clearly have all the mechanics down, you understand how they all function and work. Why not just take this simple engine and these simple mechanics and make an entirely new game out of it? I'd love to see an entirely new game "in the style" of Pico's School.

The reviews and score for this are asinine.

It's a game from 2002, you idiots! What do you expect?

By 2002 standards, it's a perfectly fine game. Seriously, you people are stupid.

not a bad game, but...ehh...

this is by no means a bad game, but its still a very "ehh" game.

my first peeve is with the main charecter's voice, its trying to sound very dark and deep, simaler to Batman or Max Payne, but it just doesn't have the deepness to pull it off, it sounds like someone with an oddly high voice trying to sound like someone with an oddly low voice.

another gripe i have is with the gameplay, the game falls very short here.

first of all, the rage clicker mouse games are a very low point in the game, if you could just click the button once and have the charecter act, it would be alright, but it the meter system really doesn't help the game have more depth, it just makes it go on longer, its a slow system and it really doesn't really simulate rage.

i can't say much about the car driving mini game, its just pressing buttons when the game tells you to.

the important part is the shooting, and this is where the game falls the flatest.

the first part the eniemes don't fight back, they just poke there heads out, but they go down way too fast, you kinda have to hover over an enemy's hiding spot and spray it with bullets 'till the enemy comes out and dies.

and the other shooting part isn't much better, not matter what happens you're going to get shot when the police pop back up, and theres never more than one so again the best stratagy is to hover over their hiding place and shower it with bullets until they jump right in to the line of fire.

still, its not a BAD game, the graphics are soild, and there are really no glitches.

but still, the big problem with this game is that it feels very distant, i don't really feel like i'm playing a game so much as i am playing a bunch of mini games to keep a movie going.

still, not very bad, but it could do much better.

2/5

ps-

also, the ending is just stupid, let us choose the way he dies in an interactive way like in some of the older assassin games, don't make us have to vote on it online just so there might be a chance 1 in 3 chance to see our prefered way.

fun, but lacking in depth.

i wanna start of with the good, rather than the bad, because quite frankly this is a good game, but its not without its issues.

to start things off, the visual style is charming and fun, the charecter design cute and theres a nice variety in charecter customization. you can be Dante, a mafia goon, a girl, or a Skeleton just to name afew.

second, the gameplay is fun. theres a nice variety of weapons and many of them work diffirent ways, making killing people original and unique with every diffirent weapon.

but theres also a major flaw: theres no depth to this game.

sure doing diffirent thing offers medals, and it is a fun game but the thing is you're doing the same thing over and over.

now don't get me wrong, it doesn't get repetitive for a good long while with the variety in weapons such as lazer guns, grenade launchers, tommy guns, the works.

but theres nothing that draws you into it, theres no story mode so the game has no plot, and theres no other modes than the normal one. do theres not much chance to anything diffirent, theres no variety in the gameplay.

still, this is a very fun game and worth checking out if you wnat to rank up your medals.

7/10

Self-published independent author, writer and avid enjoyer of stupid, popcorn entertainment. Always happy to help!
"We all have a thousand bad drawings in us, the sooner you get them out the better." - Chuck Jones.

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