All 21 game Reviews

Punk-o-matic Punk-o-matic

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Very impressive use of simple technology and sound mixing.

Why is the game narrated by Postal Dude? Well, why not?

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Pico's Surprise Party Pico's Surprise Party

Rated 2 / 5 stars

This game hasn't aged well. The controls are unresponsive and floaty, feeling like they only work about half the time. The bad guys soak up way too much damage. I like the idea of the enemies having a pattern you have to learn and exploit, but here it just feels like it slows everything down. Every encounter feels like a boss fight, and not in a good way.

I like the fight with the Pizza Guy, but that was about the only good boss fight. Then again, I beat Giko and the Nerd Guy by exploiting the game. That's another thing, the auto-targeting system is very finicky and won't work if you're already firing, and enemies seem to either hit you perfect or be completely oblivious to your location even when you're standing right there. I end up beating the nerdo bosses by just rolling and shooting in ways that the AI didn't seem to be prepared for, like past a shield or into a wall over and over.

When you're playing a run-and-gun game, you want the combat to feel fluid, fast and satisfying. Think of Contra or Megaman, those games were challenging but they moved fast and most enemies only took about one or two hits. Every encounter here lasts for far too long and by the end you just feel exhausted.

The story, art and character design was really nice, though. I always like it when people explore Pico a a character and let us delve into his little world with all his classmates and friends. Too bad the ending was an ancient meme. Would've been a great time for a character moment between Pico and Nene or Darnell, or maybe some OC made up just for the game.

Overall, some flash games stand the test of time quite well. This doesn't.

Bootleg Newgrounds Bootleg Newgrounds

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Well, this was just wonderful. It's been a long time since I wrote a review for something on here IIRC, but I thought such a clever and funny idea deserved some kudos. Thank you so much for this little delight.

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Lodge Massacre Lodge Massacre

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

The Retsuprae guys were pretty hard on this game, but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The controls are clunky and they make you feel like you don't actually have much control over your character, which would be a weakness if this were an action game. But since this is a survival-horror game, not being in full control of your character adds to the tension.

The atmosphere in this game is great, the creepiness of the house and the constant, looming dread, the way certain areas are safe one minute and dangerous the next, the whole thing feels like a classic resident evil game. I really appreciate it.

and the production quality is really good. The way the art is realistic but the movements are janky and paper-like gives the game a charming kind of uncanny-valley effect which again, would normally be a weakness, but in a horror game the uncanny valley is your friend, not the enemy.

Unfortunately, the game's abrupt ending and incredibly brazen sequel hook is a major problem, and the fact that the sequel is basically the same game with different puzzles and slightly more rooms doesn't help matters. Were this a standalone game, I would have given it 4 stars.

Instead, I'm leaving you with a respectable 3.5.

Super Oppressed PPL. Super Oppressed PPL.

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I'm logging into this site for the first time in four years to tell you great job. These types of people seriously needed to be taken down a peg.

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KMDES responds:

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. Yeah, sometimes their own 'justice' gets in the way of their perception of what's really going on in the world.

Pico's School DX Pico's School DX

Rated 3 / 5 stars

This certainly isn't a bad game. It's a very competent point-and-click game with pretty decent graphics. The problem is that I already played this game eight years ago. Played the shit out of it, in fact. Aside from some odd easter eggs, there's pretty much zero new content. If you've played Pico's School, you've played this. All it really is a re-release with updated graphics. Now, I'd be even more upset about that if professional game companies weren't guilty of doing the same thing. (Stay classy, Nintendo.)

I guess a lot of people are happy to play the same games over and over again so long as the graphics are shiny and new, but I'm not one of those people. I'm not saying I hated it, but I didn't really liked it either. It's a "3" but a soft 3. I don't want you to read this and feel disparaged, because this game is very competent. It's undeniably well made, it's just that it doesn't really offer anything new. When I play a game like this, I think "why do we need it?" It's sort of like the Robocop Remake or one of those

Here's some advice if you ever do something like this again: the smallest improvement or change can push something like this over the edge. Like take the other Pico's School remake floating around. That had full WSAD movement and better gunplay. I'm not saying you have to make a completely new game or rewrite the engine/mechanics, but some extra content would make a world of difference. How about some extra rooms? Or a new boss? Or a new puzzle?

Better yet: you clearly have all the mechanics down, you understand how they all function and work. Why not just take this simple engine and these simple mechanics and make an entirely new game out of it? I'd love to see an entirely new game "in the style" of Pico's School.

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Snipe the Snipers! Snipe the Snipers!

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

The reviews and score for this are asinine.

It's a game from 2002, you idiots! What do you expect?

By 2002 standards, it's a perfectly fine game. Seriously, you people are stupid.


Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

the sequal that nobody asked for!

well, lets start off with a MASSIVE positive:

this game doesn't have its own Wonder Woman, no one cheats and its completely possible to beat, in fact, i beat it.

now the negatives:

this game is almost exactly the same as the first one, still can't play as the other guys, still only get 4 players, still flimsy and broken control, hell, i could just post my original review here and be done with it.

to address something i should have addressed earlier:
the graphics are unimpressive and lame, what you DID draw is under whelming. the rest is just sprites.

and considering there was a 3 YEAR GAP between the two the changes are really under whelming at best.

this game COULD be saved, if you were able to improve movement response and reaction time this game would get a lot more playable, it would be a fairly decent game despite the other flaws.

the extra point was for not having another Wonder Woman.


Rated 1 / 5 stars

Clunky, broken, wasted potentional.

this game is such a sad thing. it could've kicked so much ass, but sadly it falls flat on its own ass rather than kicking anyone else's.

where to start?
first of all, the controls are shoddy at best, my character barely moves. everything feels sticky and broken, its like everything is in maple syrup. which makes sense because Wolverine is Canadian

the hit response is pure trash, i hit a character and they don't even flinch, maybe they move back a little but its a very far cry from an actual hit response. this makes things seem broken and annoying to play. it also makes it hard to tell if I've even hit them. and most of the time if i hit my opponent he'll hit me at the same time.

plus, i can be right in front of my enemy and i still might not be able to hit them, my hit will clip right through them.

theres no way to avoid getting hit, even when you're hit the opponent he can hit you (which is impossible.) you can't block, and you can't dodge. your enemy can hit you even if you're ducking or jumping. you just have to keep hitting and hope your enemy dies first.

and lets talk about jumping, its WORTHLESS. totally worthless. you can't forward or backward, you can only jump in place, and you can't attack while doing, and its lasts oddly long. its mostly just makes you a walking target.

also, the lack of characters is VERY dissipointing. you know, the X-Men aren't the only Marvel characters you know.

Spider Man
Iron Man
War Machine

and theres only four X-men here.

what the hell is the justification for this? "oh, i couldn't find the sprites for them." THAT ISN'T AN EXCUSE. just keep looking, or better yet, draw them yourself!

also, why can't i be a DC character? what if i want to play as Batman, or Superman?

I've never made it past Wonder Woman. SHE CAN HIT YOU WHILE FACING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. even if shes down to one hit point you aren't gonna get her, she fucking cheats.

the saddest part of this game is it could've been great, but all these problems make it worse than Shaq Fu.

one of those was for a nice concept, the other was a pity point.

Wall Street Massacre Wall Street Massacre

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

not a bad game, but...ehh...

this is by no means a bad game, but its still a very "ehh" game.

my first peeve is with the main charecter's voice, its trying to sound very dark and deep, simaler to Batman or Max Payne, but it just doesn't have the deepness to pull it off, it sounds like someone with an oddly high voice trying to sound like someone with an oddly low voice.

another gripe i have is with the gameplay, the game falls very short here.

first of all, the rage clicker mouse games are a very low point in the game, if you could just click the button once and have the charecter act, it would be alright, but it the meter system really doesn't help the game have more depth, it just makes it go on longer, its a slow system and it really doesn't really simulate rage.

i can't say much about the car driving mini game, its just pressing buttons when the game tells you to.

the important part is the shooting, and this is where the game falls the flatest.

the first part the eniemes don't fight back, they just poke there heads out, but they go down way too fast, you kinda have to hover over an enemy's hiding spot and spray it with bullets 'till the enemy comes out and dies.

and the other shooting part isn't much better, not matter what happens you're going to get shot when the police pop back up, and theres never more than one so again the best stratagy is to hover over their hiding place and shower it with bullets until they jump right in to the line of fire.

still, its not a BAD game, the graphics are soild, and there are really no glitches.

but still, the big problem with this game is that it feels very distant, i don't really feel like i'm playing a game so much as i am playing a bunch of mini games to keep a movie going.

still, not very bad, but it could do much better.



also, the ending is just stupid, let us choose the way he dies in an interactive way like in some of the older assassin games, don't make us have to vote on it online just so there might be a chance 1 in 3 chance to see our prefered way.