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homor
Self-published independent author, writer and avid enjoyer of stupid, popcorn entertainment. Always happy to help!
"We all have a thousand bad drawings in us, the sooner you get them out the better." - Chuck Jones.

Age 29, Male

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Champions of Norath review.

Posted by homor - May 4th, 2009


and now i will review the PS2 port of Diablo 2. err, wait no. i'm actually reviewing "Champions of Norath."

so the game starts off with 5 classes standing around a campfire-err, i mean the Wood Elf King. and you have your choice between 1 of these five classes.

Ranger.

The Cleric.

The Wizard.

The Shadow Knight.

and the Barbarian.

or as you most likely better know them as:

The Amazon, The Paldadin, The Sorceress, the Necromancer, and...The Barbarian...yeah, thats really original.

and from there the game begins as you try to defeat Diablo- err, i mean Pelys and save Tristram. err, i mean the city of the Wood Elves.

so, lets break this game down to its basic elements:

Storyline-
Spoilers ahead, this is your only warning.

the story is pretty basic, you're the Hero who has to stop the big bad evil and save the world.

there are 3 important Villains in this game:

Pelys-
leader of the orcs who is actually a Dark Elf and leader of the Dark Elves. or just a Dark Elf and NOT leader of the Dark Elves. whatever, i don't know.

Dracula- oh wait, sorry. his name is "Vanarhost"-
despite having little to no real role in the story, gets to NARRATE THE FUCKING THING.

and Innoruk-
who is this games real bad guy, and the god of Evil.

the worst part of this story is the game's ending, which is narrated by not-Dracula, which is just him sitting in a dark cave, telling the player what happened to everyone, i'd go over all my problems with this anti climatic shitty ending, but i already did:

"you beat the big bad boss, he explodes.

think you're going to have a cool epilogue? like maybe its going to pan over all the areas in the game and show all the races re-building and defeating their respective enemies with some inspirational music in the background? or maybe just a slide show of all the respective characters with a narrator announcing what happened to all of them? (al a animal house)

NO.

instead the unimportant side character not-Dracula is sitting in a dark cave with thee sound of a demon chewing on something in the background (now thats inspirational!) speaking the epilogue to no music. pretty much just saying "everything turned out fine. the end."

and what is their exciting way to set up a squeal? not-Dracula says "but how can good exist without evil?"

WOW! that sure does make me excited about Champions of Norath 2!

fuck movies and games that give you slight insight into what the next movie/game might be about! fuck intelligent foreshadowing, all you need to do at the end is say "something bad is going to happen in the squeal and the hero has to fix it!"

i also hate how they tie no loose ends with not-Dracula, like are they suggesting he's going the next game's main bad guy? yeah, i just killed the god of evil, isn't not-Dracula a bit of a step down?"

FUCK YOU GAME DESIGNERS. i know programing a game is hard work and when its all over you just want to sell it, make money, and go home. BUT HELL, that doesn't give the right to have a shitty ending, THATS THE LAST THING YOU NEED TO DO, i know you probably just want to be done with it all once the game is over, but hell, atleast leave the player with an ending that will make them like they've ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING.

okay, thats the end of the spoile- SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDOR PAGE 606.

overall, this story's bad ending is what holds it back.

Story- 3/5

Gameplay-

this game is straight up a Diablo rip-off.

don't give that "oh no, its not a Diablo rip-off its just-"

no no no, its a complete rip-off. from its inventory system to its classes.

now that doesn't make it a bad game, its still very fun.

theres still a nice variety of Weapons and Armor, still a nice amount of skills for classes, still some nice re-playability to check out what its like to play the other classes, but these are all strengths Diablo had.

still, theres no Diablo game on the consoles, so if you were ever interested as to what Diablo on console would be like, this game play will appeal to you.

plus, the controller factor is what really separates this game from Diablo.

where as in Diablo you would click on an enemy and be perfectly accurate, in this game you press a button to swing your weapon, and it isn't always accurate.

i'm still not sure if this feature adds to the challenge and makes for a richer experience, or if its just annoying and makes things more more awkward.

still, the game play, despite being a total rip-off of Diablo, is still solid. still, nothing stands out about it.

3.7/5

Graphics-
nothing to say about the graphics. they're just okay.

that aren't really bad, they aren't really good, they aren't unique and they aren't generic. they're just...okay. like this game.

3/5

---Final Verdict---

i wouldn't pay full price for this game if i had gotten it when it was new,

sure it has a nice novelty factor in i, its pretty fun and its got a pretty good story, but nothing stands out about it.

theres nothing about this game that stands out, maybe multi-player would be pretty good but i doubt many people still play this game after all these years.

everything about this game is just okay, the story, the graphics, the game play, they're all just okay, its all just an okay experience.

still, its probably really cheap now and you can probably find it in a bargain bin. but if you're looking in the bargain bin for a game, i would more recommend something like XIII. which reminds me, YOU SHOULD BE PLAYING XIII. DICKHEAD.

3/5-
just an okay game worth some time.


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